Life Lessons
If you want Fulfillment then you have to learn to Celebrate alone
Do things that really matter to you and not to others
Well most of the time at least.
This is a subject which often comes up in conversations. So over a period of time and after multiple discussions, I have got my own theory. Some people find it convincing. So putting it out there. To hear other views also. Please feel free to reach out if you want to discuss this.
I will be using she and her everywhere so that I don’t get skewered by the inclusion brigade.
First a caveat — Read this only if you are really chasing fulfilment in life.
So, what is FULFILMENT?
Fulfillment isn’t just happiness or joy or satisfaction. It’s a much deeper emotion.
To understand fulfillment, we first need to have two things.
The PROBLEM
The PROBLEM (or you could call it idea or opportunity) has to be unique and interesting and challenging.
How much you CARE for this PROBLEM
This PROBLEM should really really matter to you. You should be obsessed about it like those mad scientists in labs. It should consume you.
Once you have such a problem and you care for it like crazy, you have a case for fulfilment.
Fulfilment is the deep satisfaction which comes from solving such a problem.
Or even making some meaningful progress towards it.
So what happens in the life of a person who is chasing fulfilment?
First, people think he or she is a little crazy. Most of the time, they don’t even know about the problem or even if they do, they don’t understand why that problem is so important and they definitely don’t care about it a lot.
They will laugh and mock and never understand what the fulfilment chaser is going through.
As for the fulfillment chaser, she better be a little delusional and very persistent and thick-skinned. Otherwise she has no chance.
So why is fulfilment often celebrated alone ?
Because, no one understands or appreciates what you have done. They might not even know that you did something . They don’t CARE about the PROBLEM as much as you do. Or, they are not even aware of it. They don’t know about your journey and what you have gone through.
So they won’t be patting your back or sending you congratulatory messages anytime soon.
You will celebrate alone because only you KNOW what you have done and only you CARE.
Why shouldn’t it matter that you are celebrating it alone ?
Because, fulfilment is such an awesome feeling that nothing else matters. Its magical. It gives you so much happiness that you don’t care about anything or anyone.
The others don’t even care. So why expect anything. And why should their validation matter anyways. You will only end up feeling disappointed and it might even spoil your special moment.
But even if you are alone, you HAVE to CELEBRATE FULFILMENT. It doesn’t happen often. Sometimes it's ok to celebrate alone.
PS — Technically “alone” might not always be alone as an individual. It could be a small group. But even then, it won't be like the other achievements and celebrations that we have in life. Where the whole world matters and everybody joins in.
