Daily Human – Stages of Life

This is my own theory of life.

We have multiple stages in our life.

At each stage of our life, we feel that this is the best stage of our life. It cannot get better than this. We don’t want this to end. We worry about the changes that will happen in the next stage. Most of us don’t want to go into the next stage.

But eventually the life stage changes.

The undesirable changes are now upon us. But then we discover that the new life stage also offers us some new joys - that we have never experienced before. We soon fall in love with these new things. As a result, we start enjoying that stage. Often it ends up giving us more happiness and fulfilment than the previous stages.

Now we start enjoying this new stage so much that we don’t want it to end. And the cycle continues. Life actually keeps getting better with each new stage of life.

You don’t believe this, right ?

Let me explain with examples.

Think of your college years. They are so awesome. We never want them to end. We are young and enjoying life to the fullest.

Then we get a job and start working. This life stage is actually better. I will take working and its associated pressures over studying, tests and exams any day. Plus we have money and no major commitments as such. Finally, your parents and family are also at peace. They no longer fret over what you will do in life. Our social life also gets better (for most of us who spend time in colleges with highly skewed gender ratios). Your workplace is likely to have a much better ratio.

Now you get married. This life stage is also better than the previous one. Sure you are now accountable to someone in life. You are expected to behave more responsibly. Freedom reduces. But you still have a lot of fun before you have kids. And your spouse is the most amazing partner you will have in life. They offer something that even your parents, siblings and best friends cannot provide. They are truly an equal partner in all your happy and sad moments. Your ups and downs. If you lose your job, your family will support you with money. But your spouse will suffer with you every moment. You friends will go through the struggles of exams with you but if you fail, you fail alone. With a spouse you are no longer alone. That is huge. This is something you would not have had in your earlier life stages.

The next stage is becoming parents. This one scares a lot of people. Children are a huge responsibility. Raising them well is a lot of continuous work. It’s a crazy amount of work when they are small. The pregnancy and post pregnancy is very very hard for women. Children are a major financial commitment also. If they don’t do well in life, it’s very stressful for parents. There are many more reasons to scare wannabe parents.

Now here’s the good part. First parenting doesn’t mean giving birth. You can become a parent in many other ways. This does not affect your love for them. Love comes from caring deeply and not just by giving birth. This is why we love our pets also. Or our nephews and nieces. Studies have shown that. Caring deeply is not a chore. It’s a unique privilege. It gives you an opportunity to experience love and affection in a manner that you cannot experience in any other relationship. It’s the most selfless love. It makes you willingly and happily sacrifice your own desires for someone else’s happiness. Like when you are willing to skip your favourite cricket match to take your daughter on a play date. You will not do it for anyone else. And yet nothing will make you happier. You live vicariously through them. Whatever they experience, you experience it with them. That’s what you experience with children. It’s beautiful and gives your life a different kind of meaning. That’s the special thing about this stage and it’s totally worth it. All the pain and work and commitments notwithstanding.

Hope you are convinced now :-)

Enjoy your current life stage. And look forward to the next one.

I have only experienced so many life stages. But I am sure the future ones will also bring something special and I look forward to experiencing them when they come.